It is almost here!

If you’ve been following along on my book publishing journey, I am sorry the posts have been sparse! I’ve been emailing back and forth with the design team 3 times in as many months! We are at the point where we are just making formatting adjustments.

And now, I can see the finish line, but I haven’t crossed it yet. The last 5% is the hardest, right? If everything looks good in the next proof, I sign the papers and the book is ready! I don’t have an official launch day yet, but it will be available in online book retailers soon!

I think you’ll like it, you guys. If I can say that about my own book? I’ve tried to put into words all of the amazing things God has done in my life. I wrote from my heart and my head. I included our love story, some funny anecdotes from my childhood, as well as lessons I’ve learned over the years from going through things like two rare disease diagnoses, brain surgery, and an interesting path to a beloved career.

If you’ve struggled with a rare disease, I pray it will offer you hope. If you’ve cared for someone with a chronic illness, I think you’ll find solace and recognition. If you’ve struggled with how your story matters in a world full of stories (haven’t we all?!), then you will find the answer in this book.

When you sign up for my newsletter, you’ll be among the first to know when it’s available!

As predicted, it wasn’t my final manuscript.

Since June, I have provided two more rounds of edits to the team. They are working on the latest revisions, and I should have the (dare I say it?) final proof soon!

At the beginning of September, I received an email from my Publishing Services Associate (PSA). Attached, were both the hardcover and softcover proofs of my book. The butterflies were doing what they do best as I clicked open the first attachment. My book had a cover, and a price, and an ISBN number. The pinch confirmed it — real life.

Next came the proof of the inside copy. Seeing the 2-page layout design just increased my anticipation for the final publication. It looked more like a book and less like a Google doc. Wanting to visualize exactly what it would look like once I held it in my hands, I zoomed in to the exact print size and “flipped” through the pages. Y’all, this book is near and dear to my heart and I cannot wait to share it! Who’s excited? Are you excited? I’m excited!

Chris and I spent the next few weeks reading through it with a fine-toothed comb in hand. I was harder on that thing than my high school lit teacher would have been (although there are definitely some “to be” verbs). I compiled my list of edits and sent it off to my PSA.

I also sent her a list of questions about specifics of the layout and available fonts.

Thankfully, she affirmed all of my wonderings and even said I was able to write my own chapter titles in my handwriting! The personal touches have been some of the most fun to incorporate!

We have made it this far. The book I started (slowly) in 2013 is on the brink of publication. It seems surreal. Again, a pinch is likely the only thing that will make this feel like a reality. The publishing team is making the necessary corrections and the proof will pop into my inbox imminently.

Thanks for being on this journey with me. If you are interested in being part of the launch team, which means you would help with some word-of-mouth/social media support, send me an email at mccallamber2@gmail.com with the subject “Launch Team!”. I’ll send you an email back from the official email address of the book (psst…that means you’ll learn the title!).

It had been 7 months since I had first reached out to a literary agent to share my heart-filled pages with them. Week after week I sent a few more proposals out into the interwebs without as much as one “Thanks, but no thanks” no-reply email. It was a daunting task: trying to find agents that seemed to share my beliefs and goals for my writing, not to mention ones that were accepting unsolicited proposals for memoirs. I combed through lists of agencies, and then researched what the agencies valued and which agents were employed there. The other issue was that apparently many wordsmiths had dusted off their keyboards during quarantine hoping to be the next best thing. This left agents with an abundance of proposals and little room for first-time authors with no social media following.

Despite the silence, I kept searching for agents and agencies who may be willing to take a risk on me. I stumbled upon West Bow Press, which is a self-publishing subsidiary of Zondervan (a huge name in Christian publishing). That stumble led to a great unearthing of treasure. It almost seemed too good to be true!

The night before my birthday, as Chris and I were driving to a weekend lake stay, I heard one amazing thing after another from the West Bow consultant on the other end of the phone. Frank asked me several questions about my book as well as my reasons and goals for publishing. He suggested a package that contained a long list of resources and opportunities. Resources and opportunities that usually only came with a traditional publishing contract. This was a happy medium between going the self-publishing-via-Amazon route (which wouldn’t garner much credibility — anyone can publish that way), and waiting an indeterminable amount of time to find an agent. Yes, I would have to front the money, but I would have the knowledge of many industry-experts guiding me through the intimidating journey.

Tears welled as I hung up the phone and looked at Chris.

“What an answer to prayer!” I would be working with a Christian company that would support my dream of glorifying God with this story.

Frank sent over the contract, and after reviewing it and checking in with some close contacts who know the industry, I decided to sign with them!

The Following Week

Hit send.

After years of writing, editing, praying, and heart pouring, the last thing I had to do was hit send.

I reread my manuscript for what must have been the hundredth time, and reassured myself that it wasn’t final yet. I could (and would) still make changes. Thankfully, I had received help from family, a few friends, my doctor, and a professional editor (who is now a dear friend). Although I knew the perfection might not be there, the heart certainly was.

Like I said, I have done a lot of pouring of my heart into this book. It is the nitty gritty of all of my 30+ years, and I am finally going to be able to share it with the world. As an artist, I have spent many an hour wondering if people would like my work, if it was good enough to buy, and if it was worth it to keep creating. For the most part, my work has been readily received, although not to any 6-figure success (not that I was looking for that, either). I am grateful that I have not faced ridicule or much negative critique for the pieces of my heart that I’ve shared with the world, but this is a big one.

I finally mustered the courage and hit the button. My manuscript and Submission Information Form (SIF) were now on their way to my check-in coordinator’s inbox. Her response came overnight, and she informed me that the editorial review would take 2-3 weeks.

As I waited, I transferred my cover art ideas from my mind to my iPad. The cover design went through many iterations as I tried to determine all the things. Script font or mixed font for the title? What color background? Should I write my name or type it? I changed my mind more than a few times along the way. I also traveled to the memoir section of my local Barnes and Noble to see what other people’s covers look like. Interesting to say the least - but I didn’t find any that really stuck out to me. I am excited for mine to be on the shelf with the rest of them though!

The next big step: Hear back from the editorial review team.*

Anyone wondering what the title is? If you have any guesses, I’d love to read them in the comments!

*Full disclosure, I am posting this almost 2 months after that phone call with Frank. I have already received my editorial report and will be sharing more soon!*

It is the year 2013. I am sitting in the drudgery that is Chicago traffic on my way home from my teaching job, and I hear God telling me to write my story. Of course, for my introvert-leaning self, my immediate response was, “no thanks!” Although I have always dreamed of writing and publishing a book, it certainly wasn’t going to be an autobiography.

After reflecting on this prompt from the Holy Spirit, I came to understand that it really wasn’t my choice and it really wasn’t my story, but rather an obligation and a story that God was authoring through me. Over the last 8 years, I have learned the importance of sharing our stories so that 1. our relationships with each other can be strengthened and 2. God receives the glory for the work He is doing.

With that context, I revised my initial response and decided to start documenting my complicated and rare health history. It took me years to actually sit down and devote time to this proposed book, and even longer to be willing to ask others to read parts of it. It was a very vulnerable thing for me, and I was scared. The only thing pushing me to do it was the fact that God has done outstanding miracles in my life that I needed to share with the world. I started getting positive feedback and motivating encouragement, so I continued to write.

At this point, I have a complete manuscript and am sending query letters to potential literary agents weekly. The process of writing and editing a manuscript is daunting. The process of getting that manuscript to print is almost crippling. BUT GOD. I know He has been in the writing of this story and sharing it will only bring Him the glory He deserves, and the joy and encouragement to readers that we so desperately need in this world right now.

I thought it might be interesting to some of you to hear about my publishing adventure. If you would like to follow along, you can fill out your name and email address at the bottom of this page, and I will send you emails whenever I have an update.

Announcing my book-writing mission to you is not the only purpose for this post. I want to encourage you to take the time to try something new. It may be something you’ve always wanted to do, or something that just sounds like fun.

Stepping out of our comfort zones can seem difficult and is most certainly, by definition, uncomfortable. Do it anyway. It doesn’t have to be something life-changing. All I am suggesting is to try. According to Brain World magazine, research suggests that “regular experience of novelty is essential to a long, happy life.”

Writing and publishing a book may not be your next attempt at novelty (or maybe it is!), but it has opened my eyes to a whole new world that has always been there. Things that are new to you are cherished, honed, loved, perfected, and practiced daily by others.

Pick a new hobby, read a genre you’ve never read, listen to music you’ve never heard, explore a place you’ve never been.

Whatever you try, know that you’re not alone in your adventure. If you need help or motivation to get started, seek out the community that already exists in that realm of the internet or the local library. Experiencing new things can also be a way to meet new people, develop your brain, and ultimately, lead a happier life.

I would love to hear in the comments about the new thing you want to try!

Here’s to finding your new favorite thing!

Amber

I spent some time reading through Isaiah this summer. Admittedly, I am not an expert, and truthfully, I haven’t even finished reading the entire thing. BUT…I did learn a lot about God’s provision, Jesus’ coming to earth, and our human need. I was in awe of God’s presence throughout the book. His love encapsulates both human suffering (due to lack of obedience) as well as the promise of the greatest representation of love that there ever was.

There are at least 40 messianic prophecies in the book of Isaiah that Jesus fulfilled when He came to earth as a human (even more that will be fulfilled in His second coming). These prophecies tell of the moment when God became man. We celebrate that at Christmas time, and it’s certainly inferred in His death at Easter; if He wasn’t a human, and solely God, how could he die on a cross? It’s a critical fact of our Christian faith, and yet, how often have you actually pondered it? Have you really thought about what it means that Jesus became man so that He could relate to us, understand our hurts and fears, experience our happiness, and live life on this earth? He didn’t come so that He could say, “been there done that, you’ve got nothing on me.” Rather, He came out of love for His people.

When we come to the historical time in which Isaiah was written, we are at a point where God knew His creation had traversed a path He didn’t want for them. Living lives of sinfulness and evil was commonplace and He knew the only way to save His beloved creation from eternal destruction was to send His only son to die in our place. Jesus fully took on our sins and sacrificed Himself, so that we could be made whole and righteous and be able to stand blameless before the Father.

Please understand that this was God’s plan from the very beginning. It wasn’t a response to the evil decisions people had made, but a plan He put in to motion because He knew His creation would rebel. In those messianic prophecies that I mentioned earlier, we see that God had arranged a way to save creation before people even knew they needed to be saved.

Just some quick context setting. You know that the book of Isaiah is in the Old Testament, but did you know it was written between 742 BC and 681 BC? That’s well over half a millennium before Jesus was born, yet there are several passages that talk about it as if it is a sure thing (because it was).

In Isaiah 9, we read that not all was doom and gloom because of the people’s disobedience. God was giving them hope that a future prince would be born who would rule a vast and prosperous dominion. He was promising light that would overcome the darkness. Verse 2 says, “The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light will shine.” What an amazing concept that Jesus is the light of the world. You see, darkness cannot put out light, but light breaks through the darkness with no trouble at all. There’s lots more to say on that, but I will save that for a lighter post in the future (haha).

Continuing in chapter 9, we see God’s promise of that future ruler, “For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on His shoulders. and He will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. His government and its peace will never end.” Well, now, isn’t that a breath of fresh air? At the time, this prophecy made little sense to the failed governments, ruthless kings, and hopeless people, but God knew a better way was coming: the Way. Jesus would be born as a baby and inhabit this earth in order to disrupt the way of things. We look forward to the day when the rest of this prophecy is fulfilled, and Jesus’ kingdom and its peace will rule forevermore.

>>Jump over to chapter 42 in your bible and read verses 1-9. If you have time for more, read the whole chapter!

Wow! What a beautiful passage about the gentleness of this coming ruler who would bring justice to the earth. Gentleness and justice aren’t often thought of as going hand in hand, but this coming King would rule justly and mightily in love. God’s Spirit would be on Him and again we see that He would be a light to guide the nations (vs. 6).

Now, I know this is a Christmas post, but I want to encourage you to dwell on the reason why Jesus came to earth, and it’s not just about the precious baby wrapped in swaddling clothes in a manger. We see it in another prophecy from chapter 53 of Isaiah.

>>Read chapter 53. It’s not long, but boy is it packed with Truth and Purpose.

This chapter can be hard to read as we consider our role in Jesus’ death. It was MY sin, YOUR sin, OUR sin that put Him on the cross and He was crushed for OUR iniquities (vs. 5). That’s heavy, right? I mean, tears. BUT, that verse ends with “…by His wounds we are healed.” His purpose for coming to earth as a baby and growing into a man was to save us from our sin, to heal us—to make us righteous and holy and right standing before Him and the Father. Hallelujah! THAT is something to celebrate every single day.

We also know that, although it was our sins that put Him on the cross, it was God’s will that He would die that way (vs. 10). So, again, we see that it was God’s salvation plan from the beginning. Who knows us better than our Creator? He knew we would need saving, and so He made a way with His precious son, in order that we could be reunited with our Maker.

Not only did God carry out this plan to save us from our sins, He prepared a solution to help us once Jesus ascended into heaven after His resurrection. He didn’t leave us with only our own resources. Instead, He fully equipped us with His Spirit. We read in several places in the New Testament that God’s Spirit lives in us (1 Corinthians 3:16, Galatians 4:6, Romans 5:5, etc.). He prays when we don’t have the words (Romans 8: 26-27). He teaches us and reminds us of God’s truth (John 15:26, John 16:13). He strengthens us (Ephesians 3:16). What an awesome Father to provide for His children in this way. I try to recall this truth regularly, that the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead lives in me, and thank God for it. Without Him, I would be helpless. Who’s with me?

Of course, you do have to accept God’s gift of salvation and grace and believe in HIm. If you haven’t done that, reach out to someone you know loves Jesus, or send me an email at teamodecor918@gmail.com and I would be happy to chat with you! If you want to do it right now, take a couple minutes to acknowledge your need for a Savior, repent of your sins, and ask Jesus to come into your life. There’s no magic prayer, you just need to speak words of authentic acceptance and commitment, and watch how God will change your life, renew your Spirit, and give you a peace which surpasses all understanding.

This Christmas, be thankful for Jesus’ humanity and willingness to come to earth to experience what life is like for us, but also reflect on God’s sovereignty and omniscience and His foreknowledge. His will didn’t end with Jesus coming to save us; He continues to carry out His will in our daily lives. Seek His guidance, and allow the Holy Spirit to lead you as you interact with those around you.

We serve a perfect Savior who knows our hearts. What a wonderful truth.

P.S. If you want to read more about Jesus’ purpose for coming to earth and how God’s salvation plan redeemed us, turn to Romans 8 and soak in the Truth.

I am starting this one with a spoiler: Ruth is in the lineage of Jesus, the Savior of the World. Keep that in mind as you learn more about her story and come to realize how simple actions can lead to grand impact.

When Ruth married a man from Judah, she had no way of knowing that her future son would be the grandfather of King David.

When her husband, father-in-law, and brother-in-law all died, she had no way of knowing that she would find favor with family she hadn’t met yet.

When she refused to leave her mother-in-law, Naomi, in her bitter grief as she traveled back to her home in Judah, she had no way of knowing that provision was coming in the most unique way.

>>Go read the book of Ruth in the Old Testament. It’s only 4 chapters and won’t take you too long! It will put into context what I’m about to share with you.

Welcome back! Wasn’t that a great story?

Despite all of the unknowns, Ruth pressed forward. She is the kind of daughter-in-law every mother-in-law wants, right? Faithful to the end. Obedient beyond measure. Hard-working, diligent, and selfless.

Be like Ruth. I could end the post right here, but I will continue because I want you to see God’s work in all of this.

Each step of her journey, Ruth chose to obey the Lord and be faithful to her family. She didn’t know what the future held, but she trusted that God had a plan for her life.

>>Sometimes we think, if I just knew how this would turn out…then I would promise to be faithful. Thankfully, God gives us the strength to rely on Him and His spirit so that we can continue to live our lives as offerings of worship. We shouldn’t need to know the results in order to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with our Lord (Micah 6:8). We should do those things despite whatever may come.

After the tragedy and death in the family, Ruth decided to stay with her mother-in-law and head to Bethlehem, even though Naomi had encouraged her to return to her own family. This is where she meets the family’s redeemer (one who could purchase the land and the widow of the male relative who had passed away). Boaz was a kind man who owned land and had many harvesters who worked for him. I love that he greets his workers with a kind and joyful, “The Lord be with you!” in verse 4 of chapter 2. What a great example of biblical leadership that fosters respect and camaraderie.

Boaz continues to provide for Ruth as she gleans the leftovers from his field, with very little rest, to help provide for her and her mother-in-law. When Ruth asked him about why he was showing her favor, he replied that her reputation preceded her. He had heard about how she faithfully continued to serve and support her mother-in-law despite not having the chance to find another husband in a foreign land. Boaz said to her, “The Lord repay you for what you have done, and a full reward be given you by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge!” He knew that God would provide for Ruth in her obedience, and we have already seen evidence of that in the beginning of this story.

Shortly after, Naomi encourages Ruth to make herself available to Boaz by going to him on the threshing floor (where they brought the wheat and barley after harvest). After being shown much kindness by Boaz, and trusting her mother-in-law, she immediately responds in obedience to Naomi’s instructions. She didn’t even ask why she had to go sleep at his feet (but that was more because she would have understood that as a customary way to ask for protection in marriage).

I love how that exchange between Ruth and Naomi in chapter 3 ends. Naomi gives her instruction, and then says, “…[Boaz] will tell you what to do.” It’s almost as if she was trusting that God was in control and had it all planned out even though she didn’t.

When Boaz rolls over and sees a girl at his feet, he questions her presence and identity. After some explanation, he is actually somewhat flattered that Ruth didn’t choose to pursue younger or wealthier men, but instead chose to follow Naomi’s wishes and seek his protection as the kinsman redeemer. After an interesting Old Testament tradition that includes the handing over of a sandal, Boaz upholds the law of Moses by buying Elimelech’s (Naomi’s late husband) land and in turn gets Ruth as his wife.

Boaz and Ruth have a son. Remember that one I mentioned in the 2nd paragraph? Naomi’s friends recognized the baby as a blessing for her in her old age despite the tragedy and heartache she had faced that made it seem impossible that she would ever have a grandson. They praised God, for He had seen Naomi’s pain and suffering and provided a baby to rejuvenate her and bring her joy. That sweet baby, Obed, eventually became the father of Jesse, who was the father of King David.

God used Ruth’s faithfulness to continue the line of Jesus’ ancestors. You now know Ruth’s story (hopefully better than you did before), but you probably don’t know the story of Perez, Hezron, or Salmon. These men were also part of Jesus’ lineage, but we don’t know much about their lives from the bible. Even though their stories weren’t included, I would guess that they lived many years, loving their wives and children, probably herding sheep, sharing meals with friends and family, listening to stories of people close to them, and providing for their families. These aren’t outstanding things, but doing them faithfully, day in and day out, is imperative. We are called to live the human experience and let God do the big stuff. In our mundane, He is still at work. Remember that your life is just a small part of His grand story. Doing your work diligently, living faithfully, and supporting your family are all things that bring glory to God.

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.”

— Ephesians 2:10

You’ve probably heard of the burning bush.

And the 10 plagues of Egypt (frogs, river of blood, locusts, etc.).

And I am sure you’ve heard of the parting of the Red Sea.

All of these impressive biblical events were linked to Moses, but those aren’t the stories we will be discussing today. There is a period in Moses’ life that most people overlook. Without it, none of the events listed above would have happened (at least not in the same way).

Let’s start with a few quick facts about Moses that we learn in chapter 2 of Exodus.

First, he was a Hebrew, raised by Egyptians (and miraculously, partially by his real mother, but that’s a whole other post).

Secondly, he was born during a time when the Pharaoh had commanded that all Hebrew baby boys be killed (another miracle that he survived this).

Thirdly, he was a murderer.

Let me take that back.

Instead, I will say that he killed a man. I don’t believe that our actions and life choices should define who we are. I don’t go around calling people by the names of their sins, and I shouldn’t have done it in Moses’ case either. Was it wrong that he killed a man because that man was striking another? Absolutely! We all know murder is wrong, so we won’t dwell on that moment of weakness other than to say that God uses imperfect people to complete His perfect will. If He only chose perfect people to do His work, He wouldn’t have anyone to choose from, now would He?

Moses knew what he had done was wrong, and to avoid capital punishment, he fled to Midian. There, he met the daughters of the priest of Midian. He helped them by driving away some annoying shepherds and watering the girls' flock.

Of course, the girls were overjoyed and ran to tell their father about this Egyptian who had rescued them [insert some blushing and “oohs” and “ahhs”]. Their father shared their gratitude and wanted to thank Moses for his heroism, so Jethro gave his daughter, Zipporah, to Moses as his wife. What a thank you gift!

Now, we are finally at the part of the story that I want to share with you today. Verse 1 of the third chapter of Exodus says, “Meanwhile, Moses was shepherding the flock of his father-in-law Jethro, the priest of Midian.

The Israelites (aka Hebrews, Moses’ people) were suffering under Egyptian rule in Egypt. They were crying out to God, and meanwhile, Moses was shepherding sheep. Of course, no one knew at the time that he was going to rescue them from their slavery, but such an odd task for a soon-to-be rescuer of a whole nation, don’t you think?

Not really.

As he was shepherding the sheep, God was preparing Moses to be a shepherd of people. He would soon be called by God, via that burning bush I mentioned at the beginning of this post, to go to Egypt and set the Israelites free. Free to then wander in the desert for 40 years. There, he would lead them and continually remind them of God’s presence and promise. As humans do, even with the reminders, they continued to forget about how God had been faithful. They existed in a continual cycle of thinking they knew best, struggling, repenting, and then going back to that narcissistic stage. Without Moses’ time as a shepherd of sheep, he would not have been equipped to lead God’s people through their turmoil and strife.

We don’t know much about Moses’ time as a shepherd of sheep, but we do know that he had been gone from Egypt for 40 years. The number 40 in the bible is associated with testing, which is intended to help the person become more spiritually aware (other examples: Elijah, Jesus, the Israelites, etc.). God had taken Moses away from what he knew and the land he grew up in and brought him into the wilderness. Not only did God separate Moses from people, influence, affluence, education, and creature comforts, He employed him as a simple shepherd and prepared him for major impact.

Have you experienced a time when it felt like God took you from what you knew and brought you somewhere new and unknown? Maybe it was graduating college and joining the workforce, or becoming a new mother, or moving to a different city. It could be that you’re serving in a place you least expected to find yourself, or stuck in a situation that doesn’t seem to be leading anywhere. God often changes our circumstances so that He can prepare us for what’s coming next. If you are feeling lonely or secluded, find refuge in the Father. Lean into Him and ask Him what He is trying to teach you.

When you are in these moments, seasons, years of transition, God will challenge you, pursue you, and mold you into who He needs you to be for whatever is coming next. It can certainly feel scary or stressful, but choose to focus on how to impact others while in your own Midian.

On a grand scale, I think about the disruption that we have all experienced for the past (almost) two years as we have endured so many unknowns. It has certainly felt overwhelming at times, confusing at others, but refreshing in the moments when I was able to be still in His presence and realize that He has not changed. He is the same yesterday, today, in a pandemic, facing identity crises, and forever. We serve a God who is mightily aware of what is happening in our world, but who has seen it all. He is in control. God wins. He knows our human hearts, and He loves us despite the condition of them.

Through this disruption, have you taken the opportunity to be a light, share your hope, and live for the kingdom, or have you hunkered down or squirreled away praying to have your “normalcy” back?

Let God use your moments of waiting to prepare you for what He will soon set before you.

Have you ever felt unloved or forgotten? Abandoned or left out?

I am sure your answer to those questions is a resounding “Yes!”. We have all felt that way at one time or another. Our friend Leah, from the Old Testament, would empathize with your aching heart.

We meet Leah in the first book of the bible: Genesis. If you’re unfamiliar with this book, you may not know her fickle husband, Jacob. He had left his homeland because of a sibling quarrel, and traveled a great distance. He eventually ran into some family, and fell into love, at first sight, with a girl named Rachel (his cousin, by the way). Rachel was Leah’s younger sister.

He promised Rachel’s father, Laban (his uncle), that he would work for seven years if he could marry the beautiful Miss Rachel. Laban agreed, but must have crossed his fingers behind his back when they shook on it. Seven years later, the wedding night of Jacob and Rachel had arrived.

Remember I said that Rachel was Leah’s younger sister? Well, because of this, Laban wanted to get Leah married first, so he sent her into the wedding tent with Jacob. When Jacob realized it, he was furious.

>>Turn to Genesis chapter 29 and read verses 14-30.

Clearly Jacob was not happy with Leah and really wanted her sister Rachel. He even promised to labor seven more years to be with Rachel, on top of the seven he had already worked.

How do you think Leah felt when she awoke to Jacob’s unpleasant response to having been married to her instead of her sister? Oh my goodness, my heart breaks for her! At the same time, I wonder if she was in on the trick, or if her father forced her to marry Jacob despite her refusal? She knew how Jacob looked at and longed for her sister. Could she really have wanted to stand in the way of that?

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you know what the outcome is supposed to be, but instead of waiting for it to happen, you try to negotiate your own ending? It’s easy to want to manipulate a situation when it’s not going the way we want it to. Rather than trust Jesus’ provision and omniscience, we think we know better. If you were to stop and think for a moment, you would realize the error of your ways.

“It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.”

— Psalm 118:8

How could we possibly think we know better than the Lord, the creator of the Universe?

Unfortunately, both Leah and Rachel continue to think just that. In another sibling quarrel, we see these sisters taking matters into their own hands.

Now, before we get to that mess, I will point out a rather marvelous truth that we see in the middle of this story: God sees our hurt, pain, and feelings of abandonment. Verse 31 says, “When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, he enabled her to have children, but Rachel could not conceive.”

God knew her heart longed to be loved and to give requited love. Therefore, He allowed her to have children.

>>Take a moment to thank the Lord for His provision and His all-knowing heart of a Father. He chooses to bless His children who follow His ways.

That verse is what leads to the jealousy and angst between these two sisters, though. Leah continues having children for Jacob, and Rachel continues not having them. This goes on for some time, until the baby count is Leah 4, Rachel 0. At that point, Rachel was distraught with jealousy, to the point where she thought she would die if she didn’t bare a son for Jacob.

What happens next is rather unusual for our time. Rachel asks Jacob to sleep with her servant in hopes that Bilhah (her servant) would be able to have children that she could claim as her own. Although it was more commonplace in biblical times, it didn’t make it right. The chaos ensues.

Bilhah has 2 sons.

Then, in retaliation, Leah gives her servant, Zilpah, to Jacob to have more children for her.

Zilpah has 2 sons.

Then Leah has 2 more sons of her own. If you’re keeping track, that’s 10 sons for Jacob.

Leah then has a daughter, and Rachel finally has a son of her own.

That’s a lot of babies, and a lot of sibling rivalry.

The story continues through the later chapters of Genesis.

>>I encourage you to read through it and reflect on the imperfect nature of humans, and the perfect nature of God. Despite our shortcomings, God uses us to accomplish His will. Jacob (who later becomes known as “Israel” when God changes his name) was the father of 12 sons who made up the 12 tribes of Israel - the chosen people of God. God used these imperfect people to bring His will to fruition. Hallelujah for the fact that His plan prevails even when our human hearts desire after our own outcomes.

There is a lot of waiting in this story. Jacob toiled for fourteen years to have his beloved Rachel. Leah waited for years to be loved by her husband. Although the bible doesn’t tell us if Jacob ever loved Leah, we do know that Jacob had Leah, but not Rachel, buried in the family tomb (Genesis 49:31).

Despite her waiting to be loved by her husband, Leah finds herself fulfilled in the Lord. In the naming of her sons, she delineates a path of contentment in the Lord. Reuben, “the Lord sees me,” Simeon, “the Lord hears me,” and Levi, where she claims the Lord will create a bond between her and her husband. After her fourth son, named Judah, she praises the Lord for His faithfulness. Although her love was unrequited, we see how God continued to bless and look well upon Leah. He cared for her graciously and she willingly found solace in His comfort.

She was unwanted by her husband, but clearly loved and wanted by the Father. God loved her, blessed her, and provided for her.

Sometimes what we think we need is not what God has in store for us.

>>Continue to trust Him and pray for His will to be done in your life. He used Leah’s pain and suffering, to continue the ancestral line to Jesus (through her son, Judah)! Wow-to be used in such a way! Only He knows what your future holds.

>>So as you reflect on Leah’s story, ask yourself if you are fully relying on God to fill your needs. In the waiting, He is working, whether you see glimpses of the proof or not.

Have you heard of delayed gratification?

It isn’t a concept that we are very familiar with in the United States today. Everything happens instantly. Now. When I want it.

Delayed gratification, on the other hand, requires wait time. Saving up, dreaming about, and/or planning for something big, and special, and important. It is the joyous moment when you finally, finally achieve or receive whatever that big, special, important thing is. Maybe it’s a beautiful wedding day that was postponed due to the craziness of the last year and a half, or an honorable graduation day after years of hard work, or a baby you have dreamed about and prayed for. Whatever it is, the gratification is all the greater after the wait time.

As you join me through these weeks of advent, we will encounter people whose lives were defined by waiting on the Lord. His timeline is not ours, and from our human perspective can often frustrate us and leave us doubting. I want you to be encouraged by these stories of His faithfulness. He is at work in your waiting.

November 28: Seeing Leah

December 5: Preparing Moses

December 12: Protecting Ruth

December 19: Delivering Jesus

You can’t always see it.

But for some, it’s always there. Shooting, aching, or lurking.

Thankfully, I’ve learned how to manage it and avoid it, for the most part.

Although my pain has a name, the diagnosis (which came after a 23-year mystery) wasn’t an answer. At least not a long-term one. There is no cure for Generalized Lymphatic Anomaly (GLA) or Gorham’s Disease (also known as: disappearing bone disease). I am thankful I now know a few things about what has wreaked havoc on my bones, but there are still a lot of questions.

Since I was diagnosed in 2011, doctors have made incredible discoveries about the workings of these diseases, but there is still no cure. As an adult with GLA and GD, I have been a bit of a clinical guinea pig in terms of research. My specialists have often relied on my own symptom reporting to provide treatment suggestions, because the patient pool isn’t very deep, and to be a ‘specialist’ means you’ve worked with a handful or two of people (mostly children) with these anomalies.

My case isn’t too different than the 300 million other cases of rare diseases worldwide (rarediseaseday.org). Sure, the details and intricacies vary greatly, but each of the stories have similar themes: people often feel misunderstood, getting a diagnosis can take years or even decades, and/or the symptoms are sometimes invisible and are doubted or explained away by others. Those are the big ones.

I already shared that my diagnosis took over 20 years. The day I met a doctor (Dr. K.) who actually listened and confirmed all of my struggles as symptoms of this strange lymphatic anomaly was so relieving. Years of doubt and disbelief and “I’m just not sure” from the medical community starts to take a toll and had me doubting myself at times. What a gift it is to have a name for what ailed me for so many years and continues to do so to this day.

I have learned to live with many of my symptoms, and sometimes forget that they are not part of everyone’s day. I do want to illustrate the point that even though someone may be enduring invisible pain, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. The importance of this is that we never know what others may be going through, and therefore should treat others how we want to be treated (The Bible, Matthew 22:36-41).

Both GLA and GD start at conception. This isn’t a post about these particular diseases, so I won’t go into too much detail, but essentially I have lived with them my entire life. Certainly I have experienced some symptoms for as long as I can remember (migraines, and knee pain), but some things changed pretty drastically in my early 20’s.

After a week long hospital stay, I was diagnosed with a rare malformation called Chiari Malformation. I had brain surgery a month later, and have not been the same since. I am so grateful that my personality didn’t change, but I do want to highlight the invisible, little things that did.

The following is not a list to make you pity me, but quite the contrary. I want you to know that there are so many people (your friends, neighbors, co-workers, maybe even YOU) living with invisible pain and choosing joy. Have compassion.

Simple things that can cause invisible pain:

-Wearing my hair up for more than a few hours causes severe neck pain

-Walking from the house to the car in 85 degree heat can leave me with a searing, debilitating headache

-Doing anything repetitive for more than about 15 minutes causes neck pain that makes it hard to get out of bed the next morning (real-life examples: cleaning grout, playing the violin, sitting too far to the right or left at church or even while watching tv or a movie and having to look towards the center)

-Working out has to be very low-key (swimming, stretching, walking, etc.) or I risk the debilitating neck pain

-Sleeping anywhere other than a bed causes neck pain the next morning

-Any cold or simple infection has the potential to lead to meningitis (I’ve been diagnosed 4 times).

These things may seem minor, and they most certainly are compared to what else can be caused by disease, but I chose them for this list on purpose. It is certainly not an exhaustive list. Living with a chronic disease is hard. Even the simplest things, like cleaning grout (bleh) can be difficult or even impossible. I am only able to live joyfully because of my trust in Jesus. Without it, the struggles would be overwhelming and depressing. Thankfully, my friends and family offer grace and have always supported me, but I know that is not the case for a lot of people living with invisible pain. Let’s change that.

If you also deal with invisible pain, I pray you were comforted by this. Share it with others so that everyone can be more aware that people are dealing with stuff. I write this recognizing that many people also struggle with invisible pain that is not physical, but is mental or spiritual. We need to extend the same grace to them as we would to someone who has outward appearances of pain.

Would you treat your friend who was struggling with invisible pain (physical, spiritual, or mental) with the same sympathy and compassion as the friend with a broken leg?

Your response may be to question how you can if you don’t know the pain exists. I think this is where we learn to be more vulnerable with each other about things that are unseen. Normalize discussions about pain. When someone shares about their invisible pain, let’s not assume they want pity. Compassion and empathy are much more desirable responses, at least in my opinion. But don’t let me speak for your friends and neighbors. Ask them yourself. ;)

Does anyone remember the good ol’ Pizza Hut Book It! program?

Or the summer reading programs at the library?

I loved them both! I even loved having to (read: getting to) fill out book logs for school. Yes, I was a bit nerdy, but reading was definitely something I enjoyed. I still love it, and have been grateful for the extra time I’ve had during quarantine to spend getting lost in some books.

A couple years ago, I started writing down the titles as I read them. It’s so fun to look back in December and see the list! My goal last year was to read 15 books, and I did it! I’ll share my book list below. It includes some thought-provokers and some easy reads, as well as some memoirs and a bit of historical fiction (which is usually my go-to genre).

Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Educated: A Memoir | By: Tara Westhover

2. What Difference Do It Make? | By: Ron Hall, Denver Moore, and Lynn Vincent

3. Hundreds of Interlaced Fingers | By: Vanessa Grubbs

4. The Engineer’s Wife | By: Tracey Emerson Wood

5. Uncle Tom’s Cabin | By: Harriet Beecher Stowe

6. The Hiding Place | By: Corrie Ten Boom

7. Driftwood Dreams | By: T.I. Lowe

8. The Time Keeper | By: Mitch Albom

9. Beach Haven | By: T.I. Lowe

10. Sea Glass Castle | By: T.I. Lowe

11. Called to Create | By: Jordan Raynor

12. Kind is the New Classy | By: Candace Cameron Bure

13. Letters for Lizzie | By: James O’Donnell

14. The Lost Letter | By: Jillian Cantor

15. El lugar más bonito del mundo | Por: Ann Cameron

They were all amazing, except for #4. It was a bit long, and not super exciting, but I did learn a lot about bridge building and P.T. Barnum’s love life.

Anyway, I have set another ambitious goal this year, and to help keep track of my books, I made a fun little tracker. Mine is in my planner, but I thought I’d make some digital copies for all of you, if you’re interested! I made 2 different sizes depending on your level of commitment: one for 14 books, and one for 6. Just print and start documenting your book titles!

If you’re on instagram, tag me! I would love to see your progress @teamodecor918, and see what you’re reading!

Brace yourself for this one, folks, it’s going to get real serious, real fast.

Death is inevitable.

I warned you.

This isn’t a post about the final result of living, but rather about the importance of making the most of our time here on earth. Now, there are a lot of things you can do to increase your efficiency, but I want to focus on one thing in particular: speaking life.

If you're not familiar with this term, our working definition for our time together will be: to edify and lift up those around you through words of encouragement. Seems simple enough, right? So why don’t we do it?

You don’t have to look further than your phone to see the pieces of garbage people spew from their fingers on social media. I mean, Twitter, Facebook, and the like, resemble the city dump, am I right? It’s ridiculous the amount of animosity and tension evident amongst “friends” in these places. Not to mention the political ads that seem to leave us feeling bewildered and nauseous.

My proposition is that we intentionally speak life to those around us. It’s curious to me that we often wait until funerals to share the best about someone. Too bad they aren’t there to hear it.

Recently, the actor who played Black Panther, Chadwick Boseman, passed away. He seemingly hid the fact that he had cancer from the world for over 4 years. I obviously didn’t know him personally, but after reading all of the wonderful things about him after he passed, I sure wished I would have! From his kindness, charitable spirit, and love for life, to his sense of adventure, and quiet strength, it seems like he was a friend to everyone he met. He made this world a better place. Now, many of these words were from people that knew him personally, but I wonder how many of them shared any of those thoughts with him while they were able to. Maybe some of them did-I hope so, anyway. But when I saw several posts on Instagram about young children and their action figures holding memorial services for Black Panther, my heart melted (didn’t yours?) and I wished that Chadwick could see the impact he had on these young lives, and hear all the wonderful acclamations people were making about him.

After the tragic passing of Kobe Bryant last year, I had noticed something similar. Since then, I have made it a personal goal to genuinely share with others why I am thankful for them, and remind them why they are special to me.

Will you join me?

This isn’t about complimenting someone’s outfit (although that feels good to hear too), but more about their actions and character. For example, as a woman who is waiting to adopt, I am so grateful for the wonderful examples of hard-working, loyal mamas I have around me, and I’ve acknowledged many specific examples to several of them. Call out your friend’s amazing musical talent, or share with her that you’re thankful that she is a great listener and you’ve appreciated her sound advice. If she is always willing to grab snacks for your meeting, thank her for it! Share with your husband how much you appreciate when he intentionally does something to make you laugh. Remind your kids how God has made each of us special, and you love watching them discover their talents. Just be on the lookout for the positives evident in those around us!

Prior to these reflections, I tended to take the people in my life for granted. Let’s be honest, I still do. I know that God has gifted us each in unique ways, and since those gifts are often evident to me, I don’t always do a great job of acknowledging them, because I assume they are evident to everyone and “of course they would act that way.” We have this life to share with those around us: our family, our friends, our coworkers. Let’s make sure they know the ways in which they’ve affected us for the better.

A few years ago, I started The Speak Life Project with my small group (bible study) of ladies at church. Essentially, we send one letter a month (yes, actual mail) to someone in our group and speak life to them: acknowledge their talents, encourage them, remind them of how great a mom they are, share a bible verse, you know, all the things everyone wants to hear. The project has been such a blessing to me, and I am thankful for the community of strong, caring women I get to be a part of! I encourage you to do something similar with a group of friends or even your family.

Watch how speaking life to those around you can make the world just a little bit brighter.

I would love to hear how this is working for you! Share in the comments, or over on instagram @teamodecor918.

Don’t forget: you have so much to offer the world.

This is weird.

Usually our spring break involves a road trip to somewhere in the country.

Usually we are eating at the best hole-in-the-wall restaurants in a city we’ve never been.

Usually other tourists and city dwellers join us in our revelry.

Instead, we are sitting inside, preparing soups, playing board games, and finding creative ways to keep busy. My guess is that your break has looked similar. During this worldwide pandemic, we are all being challenged as we take one for the team and spend time at home. Maybe you’re working from a makeshift home office, or homeschooling your 8 year old, or both! Maybe you’re channeling Marie Kondo and tossing all that doesn’t spark joy, or saving lives on the front lines (if that’s you, thank you!). If you’ve found yourself jobless in the past weeks, my heart and prayers go out to you. One thing is for sure, these circumstances have not discriminated, and therefore, we all find ourselves fighting for each other, navigating new territory, and trusting that God has it all under control (or questioning that fact).

To each of you, I say: keep fighting the good fight. Our authorities are doing their best to implement protocols to keep us safe to the best of their knowledge. We will get through this, and I pray our communities, relationships, and economy are all stronger for it.

In the meantime, it is my hope that all of you can choose faith over fear, knowing that God is not taken by surprise, and that He ultimately wins the battle for our souls, so we are good (if we are good with Him). If you don’t know what any of that means, hop onto youtube and find a good sunday sermon, reach out to a friend you’ve tuned out before as they were blabbing about this hope they have that seems strange and impossible, or even feel free to email me and I’d gladly point you to the Life Giver.

On a less serious note, do whatever it takes to help you survive this craziness. If coloring helps you, feel free to download my free coloring page. Share it with whomever it will bring joy to, and feel free to share the final product with me on Instragram @teaMoDecor918.

Hey everyone,

I was working on a blog about the quarantine, and I’ll get to it, but in the meantime, here is a delicious chocolate chip cookie recipe. Reasons why I called them quarantine cookies: 1. I made them during quarantine, because 2. We ran out of regular flour. Try these delicious, gluten free cookies made with almond flour. I promise you won’t even be able to taste the lack of gluten.

Here is the link to the recipe I tried from A Saucy Kitchen. Thanks, Sarah!

If you try them, let me know what you thought!

Happy quaran-cooking!

Our life is full of choices. Do I choose the fries or roasted vegetables? Workout for 30 minutes or scroll instagram a little longer? Go to church or sleep in? I mean, honestly, you make thousands of choices a day-some for better, some for worse.

Besides the life-giving, eternity-altering decision of accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior, probably one of the next most important decisions you can make is choosing joy over grumpiness/heartache/self-deprication/fear. Joy is the second gift of The Spirit. It comes before peace, and patience, as well as goodness (and those are pretty helpful gifts!). When we look at our lives through a lens of joy, the sun is brighter, the little moments more enriching, the tasks less daunting, and life’s curve balls can be seen less as interruptions and more as opportunities.

My husband and I have a “joy jar” that we fill with both big and small moments throughout the year; everything from “I smiled when Chris kissed me on the forehead before he headed downstairs,” to “we just bought a house that met all but one of the items on our wishlist.” We purpose to document the moments in life that bring us joy, and in some circumstances, we need to dig deep to find that joy. On New Year’s Eve every year we read through our memories as we reminisce about all of the good that the Lord has blessed us with that year. It is one of my favorite traditions because it allows us to end the year focused and aligned with joy.

Our brains are created to LOVE pleasure and happiness. When we experience feelings of joy, it leads to growth of nerve connections, improved cognition, increased attentiveness, and more happy thoughts (Psychology Today). You see, choosing joy once leads to it being easier to choose it again (and again), and who doesn’t want to lead a happier life?

Full disclosure: sometimes life gets busy, and our moments of joy don’t always make it onto paper and into the jar, so this year we plan to be more intentional in both identifying and documenting the joy. Choosing to see the good, happy, and joyous rather than dwelling on the monotonous, mundane, or painful. This is not to say that we don’t acknowledge the pain when it comes, but when it does (and surely it will) we purpose to bring it to the Lord in prayer.

Here are some ideas to help you get started:

1. Buy or make a joy jar

2. Purpose to write down joyful moments once a week (to start…and then increase it to once a day if you’re able)

3. Set a reminder in your phone so that you remember

4. Talk about the moments with your spouse and/or family members to get everyone involved

5. Buy or make a sign that reminds you to choose joy

Do you have a way that you ensure that you are choosing joy and purposing to document it in your life? If so, I’d love to hear about it in the comments! If not, I encourage you to try a “joy jar” this year. I do have them for sale below or on my shop page, but you can also just make one on your own!

Cheers to choosing joy!